It did bring some unexpected side effects along for the journey. My anxiety went through the roof. I'm not sure if it was the tablets I took to help my stomach, the fact that it lasted longer than expected, not being able to keep zoloft down or that I was facing what causes my anxiety - not having any control over my bodily functions. Perhaps it was all the above factors. Regardless of the cause I still spent a few days in bed freaking the fuck out.
I almost cancelled flights I'd booked as I was sure I wouldn't be able to fly to and be in a new city all by myself.
I was sure I was giving up roller derby. Something I love and don't have any anxiety about was all of a sudden scaring the fuck out of me.
I convinced myself I was a bad mother, unfit to look after my babies. I questioned everything I did and was walking on eggshells. Eggshells I'd thrown thick across the metaphorical floor.
I was a mess. Thankfully I had amazing support that included the mister and my MIL. They helped more than I think they realise, looking after the children and myself. Helping with simple tasks and letting me recuperate.
A couple of days after the gastro visited I was fine. I didn't and don't think the above. Yes, I still have anxiety but it's managed to an extent. I hide away from certain social situations but I'm living. I wish I didn't have it at all, I don't think anyone with anxiety wishes it was in their life. It's horrible and I don't wish it on my worse enemy.
|Vitamin D helps.