Thursday, June 30, 2011

$5 Style Challenge Update!

Sorry I've been a bit slack updating this. I have continued the challenge though and am still finding it fun and interesting. It's also been quite the challenge.

I went out and helped Power Mums at the Pregnancy, Baby and Children's Expo in Brisbane last Saturday. I knew Ellie was giving us pink Power Mums shirts to wear so I just had to worry about everything else. Black seemed the most obvious colour to wear. I knew I was going to be on my feet the whole day so I needed to wear something comfortable.

Enter my FAVOURITE pants. The style is known to some as ugly. One (freaking amazing) lady, Eden calls them 'Repulsive Genie Pants'. I love them. I have one pair in grey which are not worn out of the house unless I'm planning on staying in the car or am having a feral day. My black pair, however, are worn everywhere. I've worn them out to dinner, movies, pubs, clubs, shopping - you name it if I've been there I've probably worn my black harem pants.
Not the best photo - munchkin was cracking it in the car
Munchkin was not happy. He knew I was going out without him so he was upset. After I was dropped off he was fine with his daddy.
Oh light spot good aim
Shirt - Supre (2009)
Pants - Kmart (2011)
Shoes - Rubi (2010)
Necklace - Susie Q Creations (2011 - gift from PP and Nat)
Earrings - New Zealand (2010 - gift from MIL)
Not happy bubby
Really not happy baby
The mister and I then went shopping. We had coffee and met Bronnie from Maid in Australia for some ice-skating fun. Unfortunately, munchkin was too small and I was too big. It looked like so much fun and for $10 for 45 minutes the perfect school holiday activity for kids. It was wonderful meeting Bronnie and I hope it won't be the last time. If you haven't met her, you should! 

After coffee and cake (carrot - yummy!) we went shopping. The mister needed new black jeans for work and I wanted to check out SES Fashion as I was told it's cheap but nice clothes. Perfect for my style challenge. 

I walked away with one dress, pair tights, long sleeved top, singlet, and a white business shirt for $20.80. I must admit that I did go over my budget on the dress. It was $5.98. I wore it today with the tights and singlet when the mister and I went shopping (groceries). It's so comfortable and light. 
It looks like I'm wearing a cup
Dress - SES Fashion (2011)
Tights - SES Fashion (2011)
Singlet - SES Fashion (2011)
Shoes - Iron Fist (2011 - gift from PP and Conor!)
Ghetto Botty
Singing and dancing to 'Baby Got Back'
I did do some internet shopping when I got home. It involved lay-bying all of munchkin's Christmas and birthday presents (we always stock up at the Toy Sales) and buying an outfit for me for a birthday party we are going to. I did go over my $5 Style Challenge again though. I paid $10 for a pair of harem pants to wear. Can I justify it by saying that it's a PAIR of pants, so each leg is in fact $5?!

I'll definitely post photos of that outfit. If my plan goes ahead I'll look hot. Especially if my boobs make their pregnancy appearance!

If you are interested in other people's smart shopping wonders check out Cait's bargain she picked up for just $5 and Holly's thrifty awesomeness.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Shutter Mouth and Arrogance

You know how you do something then freak out that maybe you shouldn't have? Maybe you should have kept your mouth shut? No? Well, lucky you because it's a shit, unnecessary feeling.

I'm feeling like I shouldn't have published my post yesterday. Not yet. What if something is or goes wrong? I haven't even been to the doctor yet. I know I'm pregnant, I know when we had sex, I know my last pregnancy was problem free BUT what if?

When I fell pregnant with munchkin I was not healthy. I was far from healthy. We were so unhealthy we thought no baby would be able to be conceived or survive with our lifestyle. I wasn't on SSRI's which can harm the baby in the first four weeks of conception like I was this time though. 

Thinking back to when I started on Aropax, not long ago actually, I was so arrogant. I was so naive. All I wanted was help, to be told you aren't imagining this. The first two weeks were hell, why did I not stop then? After that I was still getting sick, still getting anxious, still missing appointments. Why did I not stop then? I thought I knew better than the medication that I wanted so badly to work for me. 
Random photo of the boys sleeping to break up this tangent
I wanted Aropax to work. I listened to my doctor when he told me this was the best medication to use and it would work. It did. It worked mildly. After a couple of months I had the urge to up the dose. I didn't because I had read the dangers and because I didn't want to be addicted. Addicted to a drug that was supposed to help. A drug that should not have tolerance levels. A drug that should not have withdrawals. A drug that my doctor told me was not addictive as that was one of my main concerns. A drug that NEEDS higher regulation.

I didn't go back to that doctor when I changed my medication. There are many reasons; I needed a bulk billing doctor, I wanted a female doctor to do my pap smear, and I was scared he wouldn't let me change. I'm so glad I didn't go back. I think having anxiety about talking about my medication with that doctor helps show that Aropax wasn't right for me, wasn't working.

I made the easy transition to Zoloft but as I was on a smaller dose I did suffer some withdrawals like dizziness, lethargy, blurred vision, diarrhoea, headaches, anxiety, and the shakes. They weren't bad, more annoying. Since being on Zoloft, I feel happier, relaxed, more energetic, less anxious, and more in touch with my emotions. I'm already so much happier being on Zoloft plus it's ok for the baby.

Aropax is one reason why I'm worried. Worried not anxious. It's on the DO NOT USE list while pregnant, especially the first trimester. Now I've googled the risks of Zoloft while pregnant. Great. Fuck you google. 

So I'm worried that this baby will not be healthy. That something will be wrong. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut and my fingers tied and not published my post last night. What if?!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


Two. A number I've heard plenty of the last few days. A number I better get used to. A nice, even number for us even people (although I'm sure we are odd too). Two. Four. Not one. Not three. Just numbers. Numbers that are comfortable. Numbers that are uncomfortable. 
But they aren't just numbers. Not anymore. These numbers are representations. Tests. Lines. Children. Family members. They aren't numbers. 

My regular readers, who are not uncomfortable with girly issues, know I've just changed my medication. They may also know I've just had a pap smear. The urge to change and be checked out was thanks to Glowless and my subconscious. I changed my medication 'just in case'. Well, just in case had already happened. 

Five weeks. I didn't find out I was pregnant with munchkin until I was close to seven weeks. I noticed a change in my body almost two weeks ago. My ghetto booty has definitely expanded and my stomach is the size it was when I was sixteen weeks pregnant with munchkin. Where the fuck are my boobs though? They better make a come back and soon. 
Photo by Miss P
I didn't feel my first 'flutter' or what really felt like gas bubbles with munchkin until I was around eighteen weeks pregnant. I swear I'm feeling them currently as I type. 

Five weeks and number two is definitely making sure the attention is on him/her. Another attention whore. I already have one plus myself, of course. The poor mister will have three in his house. 

Just like munchkin, number two has come at an unexpected time. The mister is reapplying to the airforce for the third time. The first time I was pregnant and they used our circumstances to turn him down. The airforce is his dream. Thirty months ago he first applied and every major decision we have made has been to help reach his dream. We moved closer to the city and he just completed a six month pre-apprenticeship course, both so they wouldn't say no again. The big stress is now, will they use my pregnancy to say no again? A blow that would crush the mister, one that I don't think our family unit could deal with. 
Munchkin 5 minutes old
It's not only that though. Financially we could be in a better situation. I'm not working and the mister's work is on holidays for a month. A month of no money means he's looking for another job. He has one interview lined up already which is taking place tomorrow. A job he really wants. It's not the airforce but it's a good job in the meantime. I want to work but restrictions such as being pregnant and looking after a toddler make it hard to find something I can do. 

I can feel it creeping up every time I think negatively or worry. Guilt. I'm bathing in it. Guilt of the ease of falling pregnant twice. Guilt of not being ready twice. Guilt that there are wonderful, deserving couples out there who can't fall pregnant, at least not easily. Guilt that I can't be giving and adopt out. Guilt of being selfish. Guilt of being fortunate. Guilt of being guilty. 

At the end of the day we know we can do this. We know it's not a bad thing. Yes we worry but it's because we want the best for our family, we want stability. I'm excited. It's a new path in our fabulous journey! 
Family. Munchkin three days old


I will write today.

I will, I will, I will.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Happy Monday

Mondays aren't usually the brightest days so I thought a happy start to the day would make at least me feel better about the day ahead (usually a cleaning day). So here goes. If you want to join in please link to your post in the comments. Smiles :)

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude"
Maya Angelou

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Thank You - My Blogging Journey (So Far)

I began blogging in 2009. Only the mister knew I blogged. I stopped because I lost my blog mojo. I didn't blog again for almost six months. I kept reading my favourite blogs but didn't write anything. 

I started Tutu Ames as I was again in my happy place and felt my blog mojo come back. I'd spent the six months learning about writing posts, design and topics. I expanded my knowledge, not through e-classes but through blogs I admired. Blogs I felt had made it. 

These blogs were successful in my, a reader and follower, eyes. I still read them today and if I were to stop blogging would still read them tomorrow. These blogs include The House That A-M BuiltGood Golly Miss Holly!Suger Coat ItDanimezzaAiring My Dirty Laundry, One Sock At A TimeOffbeat MamaSomewhere, Over Jen's Rainbow and Super Organiser Mum. As you can see a mix of blogs catering for my ever changing tastes. 

What made these blogs successful to me was their personality. Their blog is an extension of them. They write their way, not the way they 'should' write. They are strong, powerful women. I would gladly welcome these women into my home and for some I have. Whether that be my physical home or simply my personal Facebook page. 
I like flowers in my hair
My first blog I had no idea how to post. I had followers, a small community who I will be forever grateful for helping me through the bad times and sharing in the good times. I enjoyed my little community and love that I'm still in contact with those amazing ladies. 

I turned to them, in fact, when I began Tutu Ames. Melissa from Suger Coat It helped me with the design aspect of Tutu Ames. I felt accepted and like I'd never left. I picked up where I left off, without feeling like I'd ever left. 

I don't regret my time away from posting as I learned so much and grew so much. I stopped blogging because I felt pressured to (by no one but myself) and began blogging because I wanted to. I also stopped stealth blogging which removed the  stress of being caught out. I spent time designing my blog, asked for advice and threw myself into amazing blogging communities. 

I also started tweeting which was one reason I began blogging again. Twitter gave me my blog mojo back. I could easily connect and talk with fellow bloggers and I didn't worry about people who didn't get it. All the reasons why I didn't like Facebook anymore. Don't get me wrong Facebook is fantastic to keep in contact with my friends and family but it's not good to network. Especially when bloggers don't always reveal their real name. 
Brisbane Hello Owl and Nuffnang Meet - Photo by Aynat Designs
I started Tutu Ames filled with hope. Hope that I would branch out into a wider community. Hope that I'd meet people who were in similar situations to me. Hope that I'd make friends in different circles. All I wanted was to connect with people. People who loved writing as much as I do. People who use social media to escape the sometimes mundane reality of being a SAHM. 

Communities such as Digital Parents and Nuffnang have helped me achieve my dreams of connecting with amazing people. People I would never had have the pleasure of knowing if it had not been for blogging. People I call my friends. People who I'd stand up for in an instance. 

Those not in the blogging community don't understand. They couldn't. I know I didn't. I didn't even understand the friendship of pen pals. I do now. I know you can be friends with people on the other side of the world, never meet them in person but know them like you met them years ago. 

When I started Tutu Ames in March this year I never thought that less than six months later I would feel so part of an amazing community. It never crossed my mind that I'd be working with brands, doing reviews and competitions or getting sponsorship to travel interstate to a blogging conference. It's not why I began or continue blogging but it is fun. 

The amount of comments, views and followers amazes me and every day I am grateful to have the support I do. The community I had before was amazing, but the community I have now is even better. It's the first original expanded. At the end of the day it's not about the followers or views, it's about the comments, the lovely comments. I'm a shit commenter on my blog (I always forget) but it doesn't mean I don't read them or appreciate them. 

I'm so fortunate that I am surrounded by amazing people who give as much as they take. No, they give more. The kindness is outstanding. You don't need to look further than the support given to Lori in her time of need. She's not the only one either. I know I've never felt more welcomed or encouraged. 

Thank you amazing bloggers. Keep being yourselves, keep typing and keep working together. Being a blogger is fun!

EDIT: I haven't included the amazing bloggers who help keep me going now. I will. You are not forgotten and will be mentioned in another post.


Welcome weekend!!

What a week indeed. I'll hopefully have enough time and energy to do a week update post tomorrow. Switching medications is still knocking me around a bit. Nothing bad, mainly my eyes get sore quickly. That could also be because I'm still waiting on my new glasses to arrive.

Today, however, I will NOT be near a computer all day! Instead I will be at the Brisbane Pregnancy and Children's Expo at the Brisbane Convention Centre helping out at the Power Mums stall. 

If you are there please come say hi to me, Princess, and Ellie!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Munchkin and Handy Manny like RACING!

We are not current DVD player owners.

Our first DVD player died after munchkin decided to put not one but two DVDs in the machine at the same time. Our second one is now owned by my dad as his died and he needs it to watch awesome movies.

We do have a sweet set up though which enables us to still watch DVDs on our TV or computer. Thank you Mac. Munchkin loves sitting at the desk watching his movies through the computer.

Munchkin is definitely a boy when it comes to movies with his favourites being CarsToy StoryMonsters Inc, and A Bugs Life. He does branch out though loving Tangled and Dora. He can't wait till he sees Cars 2 and every time an ad for it comes on there are tears. He doesn't understand why he can't watch it now. It's like teasing the poor boy.
Transfixed with his comfort toys
I'm sick of Mater's Tall Tales at the moment as it has to be on the computer all day, even if he is playing in his room. The only break I'm really getting is when he is sleeping. It's funny and I still laugh but I'm over it.

As munchkin is such a boy loving anything to do with cars or tools I jumped at the chance to review the Handy Manny; Manny's Big Race DVD which is available in stores from 6th July 2011. It has cars. It has tools. Perfect!
What I didn't realise was all the surprises this DVD has. I thought it only had, and was happy with, the one episode, 'Big Race'. Imagine my delight when two more Handy Manny episodes; 'Bunny in the Basement' and 'Fast Eddie's Scooter' followed 'Big Race'. Not to mention my surprise when I saw the bonus features; My Friends Tigger & Pooh: 'Tigger A Yo-Yo' and 'Pooh Loses His Shirt'. I nearly wet myself. 

Munchkin came home from daycare, said hi, took his shoes off, had something to eat and sat down ready for a new movie! I admit I was a bit apprehensive as he is very sure about what he likes and what he doesn't. I was worried he wouldn't watch it and I'd be writing a fake review. Thank goodness he watched it, not once but twice.
Watching Handy Manny
The mister, munchkin and I all sat down to watch Handy Manny's Big Race. The mister's first comment was along the lines of 'Handy Manny is lazy, he doesn't do anything, the tools do all the work!'. I then reminded him that Handy Manny is awesome because he is voiced by Wilmar Valderrama who plays Fez on That 70's Show.
Nothing else exists
Munchkin did not take his eyes off the screen the whole time. Well no I lie. He took his eyes off the screen to say wow and clap. He loved it. The colours, sounds, music, characters, and fun voices all kept him entertained. 
I love how in all the Handy Manny episodes team work, encouragement, friendship, counting, and different languages are all included. A bonus, there is no violence in any of them. How good is that! It's educational and fun. Plus it's not annoying which is handy (haha) for us parents who have to listen to movies over and over again.
Mum stop taking photos, I'm watching Handy Manny!
My favourite tool was the blue screwdriver, his personality shines in 'Bunny in the Basement'. His name is Turner too, which is the name of my favourite teddy bear. 

I'd highly recommend this DVD to mother's of young kids, girl or boy which is a good thing as I have one to give away to a reader!

All you need to do is leave a comment telling me what is your or your munchkin's favourite kid's movie. Easy as! 

Winner will be drawn by on Friday 1st July 2011.
Sorry this competition is open for Australian addresses only.
You don't have to be a follower or a blogger to enter!!

Disclosure: I received a complimentary DVD review copy courtesy of Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment and Porter Novelli via Digital Parents. No financial payment was offered nor accepted for this post. All opinions expressed are purely my own.

Hard at Work Polly

This weeks Polyvore Polly Dolly challenge is Hard at Work. 

I'm at work now. Sorta. Munchkin is at daycare so I guess I'm on my weekend. 

This is my dream going out to a meeting or just running errands.
Hard at Work Polly by Tutu Ames

Wanna play along? It's fun, a little bit mean (limitless, free credit card anyone?), perfect procrastination and if you are anything like me you won't be able to stop at just one!

Check out other Polly Dollies at Danimezza. While you're there check out Danimezza's other posts. She is one happening woman!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Girly and (maybe) Zombie Tales

Warning; definitely a girly TMI pap smear post. Do not read if squeamish.  
Today I bit the bullet. A big, uncomfortable, necessary bullet. I have to thank the amazing Glow for reminding me to do so with her post which made me angry on her behalf. 

I made the appointment at a new doctors. One that were lovely on the phone when I enquired and also bulk bills. Two very important traits with this family, the latter especially when it comes to my health. How everything changes after the child exits the womb. 

I haven't taken my medication in two days. It hasn't really stopped me from being anxious, I'm still getting sick before going out. Not all the time but most of the time. 

For example, today. Sick as a nervous cat whose drunk too much milk as well as eaten too much grass. All because I didn't know what to expect at the doctors. Regardless of the fact I've previously had a pap smear. Scared. Sick. 

What ifs going through my head. What if the pregnancy ruined my va jay jay? What if I fart in her face? What if it hurts? What if there's something visibly wrong? What if she's mean? What if I hate her? What if I get sick? What if the bed is uncomfy? What if the room is really cold? What if I see someone i don't want to? Yep, my what ifs are all over the place. 
What if my doctor was this guy?! (Brisbane Zombie Walk 2009)
The mister and munchkin dropped me off and I went inside. I had to fill out a new patient form which I did so while sitting on one of the five leather lounges in the waiting room. I shit you not, they were so comfy too. One doctors surgery that I wouldn't mind waiting for a couple of hours; nap time!!

After that I waited a whole two minutes where I was called to my appointment ON TIME by my lovely doctor. She asked if a medical student could sit in. I've pushed a baby out, I have no problem at all. Mind you, if she was a bitch of a doctor I'd probably care but she was amazing. 

I told her my concerns about Aropax and we discussed the pros and cons of other SSRI's before deciding TOGETHER on Zoloft. Holy shit. She was like a friend rather than a doctor. So kind, helpful and caring. I liked her glasses too. 

Then came the icky part. The pap smear. She did a full check including breasts which I've never had done before. Everything checked out fine. It was uncomfortable but definitely nothing like pushing a 3kg baby out. I actually think I'll have regular pap smears now. Please don't shoot me when I confess that that was my second pap smear when it should have been my fourth. It's bad I know. My experience today makes me think I'll have regular checks. I'm not saying I enjoyed the experience but it's not as bad as cancer, duh. 

I start my Zoloft tonight, half a tablet. My fingers are crossed that it'll be a lot better than the shakes and dizzy spells I'm having now on nothing. 

Monday, June 20, 2011

#Trust30 Fail

You may or may not have noticed that I haven't posted a #Trust30 Challenge lately. 

There is a reason for that. 

I won't go into it here as Amy from New Adventures In Dreamworld as said it perfectly.

21st Party Weekend Style

Sorry for the lack of posts. Something happened to our Internet and we lost the yellow cord to fix it. The mister went shopping this morning and picked one up. Welcome back Internet, I missed you. 

Let's get straight into it. Saturday night we went to a 21st at the mister's old work for a lovely girl he worked with. 

The theme was Suit Up. We don't own suits so we just dressed up. The birthday girl's mum wore a karate suit, a girl made a jacket out of playing cards, there were tuxes, 80's outfits, jumpsuits, army suits - you name it there was probably someone wearing it. 

The birthday girl drives a VW Beetle, Kirby, so the cake represented that. I definitely missed my Beetle, Gloria. 
We drank a lot. I smoked a lot. I had inappropriate conversations with a group of guys. I found $10 and two packs of (gross) smokes which I sold for $15. We stayed at the birthday girl's house which involved pjs, drinking, smoking, chats and a dog waking us up in the morning. 

The mister wasn't well the next day. It's happened before and we still aren't sure if it's from alcohol, cold or illness. We made it home after many sick stops. I felt so bad that the mister had to drive home but I don't have my license and would have still had alcohol in my system. He went straight to bed when we got home. I stayed up and made myself a hearty breakfast. 

Munchkin was amazingly good for my mum. I was so happy to see him, play and have snuggles. Although I don't feel guilty leaving him overnight I do miss him. It's always such a joy seeing him the next day. 

So, how did I go with my $5 Style Challenge? Again I didn't spend any money recently for my outfit. The party was out where we last lived and it's freezing out there so I rugged up. 
Dress - Iron Fist from FUS Clothing buy it HERE
Jacket - Sunny Girl $30! (2010)
Scarf - Sportsgirl (2011 - on sale)
Gloves - Tree of Life (2010)
Leggings - Supre (Ski Tights)
Wedges - Pinet Shoes from ShoeBiz (2005)


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