Simplify Your Life Week Thirteen #syl12

Ok time to catch up on the Simplify Your Life challenge.  I apologise in advance for the bombardment of these posts as I catch up. I'm quite behind as I had a break from this during my blog break too.

This week's challenge is to check up on the goals that were made in week six. 

Goal: Clean and organise daily, even just ten minutes a day.

This is happening! Even on lazy days something gets done even if it's just the dishwasher being packed or a load being washed. It could be better but with a newborn and toddler our house will never be spotless every day. We don't really enjoy cleaning so would rather do more enjoyable things. 

Goal: Spend more time as a family actually doing stuff, not just sitting around doing nothing.

With the mister no longer working on weekends we are definitely doing this. Last week was a big week of that. Lufflump is talking more and we are all a lot more happier than we have been in a long time.

Goal: Be mindful daily.

This has changed lufflump more than I could have thought. He's talking and connecting more with us which is wonderful. I'm enjoying looking forward to the day and backward on what the day has been. Obviously with lufflump's changes this is very important and must be continued.

Goal: Eat well and exercise daily, even just for ten minutes a day.

I'm exercising more than ten minutes a day! Today, for example, I've exercised for an hour on Wii Fit Plus and have done additional exercises including knee push ups, squats and planks. I'm enjoying exercising and can already tell a different in my arms. Eating well is a bit of a struggle though but a good work in progress. I'm having shakes filled with goodness daily, having nuts as snacks, and drinking more water. The difference I'm feeling is more than worth it!

Goal: Spend more time reconnecting with and visiting friends.

I suck. I've been to lunch a few times with friends and seen a couple more but not every fortnight like I planned or would like. 

Goal: Delve further into Buddhism.

This goal hasn't been reached, not even slightly. This has been put on the back burn while I get fit and spend quality time with my family.

Goal: Budget, be firm, consistent and stick to it.

Budget, what is that?! We haven't set a budget but are more aware of our finances as the mister is no longer working two jobs. The mister rides to and from work so we save money on fuel and parking tickets. Eating healthy is a lot cheaper than eating junk so we are also saving money there. We are still living week by week but with two kids, minimum hours and forking out for a new sport it's understandable. It will get under control and we aren't stressing, that's important isn't it?

Goal: Build a small veggie garden.

We haven't yet done this. We want to though so this is still in the plans.

Happy family!

The goals I'm yet to reach are still reachable and I'm not crossing them off the list yet. The ones I have reached I will continue as they are worth it!

Simplify Your Life Week Twelve #syl12

Ok time to catch up on the Simplify Your Life challenge.  I apologise in advance for the bombardment of these posts as I catch up. I'm quite behind as I had a break from this during my blog break too.

Change. 

Oh how my life is changing right now. From not having the energy to get out of bed to exercising daily. From the house being a huge mess to being reasonably tidy. Just ignore the massive pile of clean washing waiting to be folded and put away. From being distant with lufflump's life and day to focusing and playing with him, being mindful.

Change can be so wonderful.

We had a horrible day on Tuesday. Lufflump was sick, not sleeping, vomiting and cranky all day. Sesame wouldn't sleep anywhere but in my arms and cried almost all day. I was home alone, this mister is working during the day this week rather than at night. I was supposed to go to an adult learn to skate lesson that night but after a day like that I was over everything. The mister came home, got handed the kids and I locked myself in the bathroom. I couldn't look at anything to do with Roller Derby, instead finished reading a book on the Kindle app. I was ready to give up.

I would have given up but the changes I've made so far are worth more than one bad day, one bad night.

Last night I sucked up every doubt I had and went to a Roller Derby Recreational League info night. I was so anxious going but I was also excited. Unfortunately my body is still learning that adrenaline isn't always a bad thing. The info night was fascinating and reaffirmed that this is one change I am very keen to make. In fact, I'm signed up to start very basic skating and roller derby training for six weeks starting this Sunday morning.

Image

I could have let my negative thoughts and feelings take over the passion I felt for roller derby and getting healthy. I probably would have before. I would have given up and moved onto something else and probably given that up to. I've changed. My thoughts have changed. It feels good.

I'm so glad life is moving on. The mister is happy with his fitness, riding around 15kms every day. Lufflump is communicating and talking so much more. Sesame is, well, a newborn. 

Life is good.

Simplify Your Life Week Eleven #syl12

Ok time to catch up on the Simplify Your Life challenge.  I apologise in advance for the bombardment of these posts as I catch up. I'm quite behind as I had a break from this during my blog break too.

This week (which technically was three weeks ago that's how far behind I am) is all about kindness, gratitude and altruism. The challenge is to practice gratitude daily and do an act of kindness.

Living in our country we are so very fortunate and have a lot to be grateful for. Of course we all our moments where everything feels like shit and it's hard to be grateful for our life and how lucky we are. You know what, that's ok too. It's normal.

It's kind of relevant, there's an Australian flag, but damn he's cute!

I try to be grateful everyday. Some days are hectic, some days are tense and stressful and some days I really don't want to get out of bed. It can be hard but I feel it's important to do so no one feels taken advantage of. Every day I tell the boys that I'm thankful for something they have done and multiple times a day we all say 'I love you'. When sesame is older she'll be included too, of course. It's a good way to debrief about the positive aspects of the day.

I also try to be kind. I think kindness is a perception too. Something I do that is kind may be just a normal action for someone else and vice versa. For me making lunch or dinner for my family is being kind as I don't do it often but for others that's just what they do. 

My little acts of kindness include smiling at strangers and often donating clothes, accessories and homewares to charity. I've also been known to sit down and chat to people regardless of who they are.

There is always more room for kindness in our life. Off the top of my head we could do more for lufflump's daycare, shop more at op-shops and markets rather than big corporations, and send cards randomly to our friends to say thank you.

It's interesting actually thinking about what actions are taken to be grateful and kind. I need to do more, that much I know.

Simplify Your Life Week Ten #syl12

Ok time to catch up on the Simplify Your Life challenge.  I apologise in advance for the bombardment of these posts as I catch up. I'm quite behind as I had a break from this during my blog break too.

Week ten is all about facing fears. 

Fears are normal and as I have anxiety I may have more fears than the "average" person. Although at the moment my anxiety is manageable I acknowledge I have both rational and irrational fears. 

I have phobias like clowns and petrol tankers. These may be irrational but that's what phobias are meant to be aren't they? These aren't the fears to focus on though. These can continue to only rear their ugly heads when clowns or petrol tankers are around.

Image by me

I fear so much for my kids, as every parent does. I fear they'll be hurt, bullied, peer pressured, be a bully, hurt others but mostly I fear they'll be unhappy. All I want is for them to be happy in their lives. Again, these aren't the fears to focus on.

I wrote about change at my March To Your Own Beat post. Obviously change is exciting me and I appear ready but will my fears of failure hold me back again? Of course I'm scared about going forward towards my dream of doing roller derby; 

What if I hate it?

What if I suck badly? 

What if I don't get in this year or next year? 

What if all the girls hate me? 

What if I can't attend every training session? 

Then again;

What if I love it?

What if I am awesome?

What if I get in straight away?

What if I make a bunch of friends?

What if I can attend every training session?

If I don't try I won't know. Maybe it'll be a negative experience and if it is I can sell my gear and focus my time and attention on my family and possibly studying again. If it's a positive experience then I'll have fun exercising and playing sport.

This time I will not let fear win. I will find out what will actually happen. Determination and the need to know will rule the fear I feel.

Simplify Your Life Week Nine #syl12

Ok time to catch up on the Simplify Your Life challenge.  I apologise in advance for the bombardment of these posts as I catch up. I'm quite behind as I had a break from this during my blog break too.

For week nine's challenge Deb is asking that we go easier on ourselves. I know I'm a few weeks behind but this challenge is perfect for me right now. Maybe there is a reason I'm behind so much. 

Milk monster!

Sesame is mainly being formula fed with only one or two breast milk feeds a day.

I'm beating myself up for it. Big time. That requires a whole post though. I know what's important and that is my baby being fed BUT I am struggling to let it go. 

I know why I persevered in expressing for lufflump; prevent allergies and asthma while giving his immunity a boost. I have so many worries for sesame. Will she have bad allergies, will she get asthma and will she be sick more often because I didn't exclusively breastfeed for at least six months?

All these worries eat away at me. The guilt and disappointment invades my dreams.

I need to go easier on myself. 

Sesame may get allergies, asthma and have bad immunity regardless of whether she is formula or breast fed. Formula is so good these days too. She drinks more than I ever imagined (200ml breast milk or 120ml formula each feed) and is much more content on formula (not crying for 15 - 45mins each feed). 

She is happy, thriving, drinking and that's what is important. 

The mister is ok with how she's being fed, in fact he is beyond happy she's not crying almost hourly. I am too. I have to grieve and let go. Breastfeeding is harder than hard. She's still getting breast milk and she's still being fed, comp feeding is not wrong. Formula is not wrong or bad, it's not ideal but it's not the end of the world.

I have not failed my daughter. I am doing what is best for her right now. 

Simplify Your Life Week Eight #syl12

Ok time to catch up on the Simplify Your Life challenge.  I apologise in advance for the bombardment of these posts as I catch up. I'm quite behind as I had a break from this during my blog break too.

Week eight is all about happiness. Happiness to me means many things such as a clean house, shopping and seeing my family happy. Unsurprisingly unhappiness also means many things such as a messy house, crappy finances and seeing my family unhappy. There are days where I am grateful for everything and could burst with happiness then there are days where it's all too hard and I want to crawl under the blankets until it ends.

Around 34 weeks pregnant I, slowly and under doctors guidance, stopped taking my anti-anxiety tablets. The plan was always to start taking them again the day after I gave birth. Over two weeks later and I still haven't started taking them. I know prevention instead of intervention, trust me after working in mental health I know. I'm hesitate though. I want to do it on my own, I want to try to beat this anxiety myself. I know it's around now so maybe, just maybe I can do more to prevent it myself. Mind you I have them ready to take at the drop of a hat. I'm making sure to check in with my emotions during the day, being aware of them and what is causing happiness, sadness, stress, anger etc. It seems to be helping. I do have bad days but usually after a nap and feed I'm a lot happier.

Lufflump's favourite playground activity

I have a large happy list, as do many people I'm sure. I won't list all of them just a few which I try and do daily to brighten my mood;

• Read - If I'm not reading blogs I'll usually be on my Kindle app reading free books from Pixel of Ink. A big thanks to Deb for linking me up with them.
• Blog - I find that if I don't do something with the blog daily I regret it. It's so rewarding that pushing myself is worth it.
• Cuddle - Cuddles can make a bad mood disappear. I make sure I thank lufflump, sesame and the mister for at least one thing each day, appreciate them.
• Shower - Simple but when not feeling well or having screaming children it's not on the to do list. A quick shower makes me feel 100% better even if I do go straight back into my pjs.

If I'm in a shocker of a mood all of those things help even if just to get me to cry. Is there a better place than the shower to cry it out?  There are more like a nice cup of coffee, music, and take photos. So much can turn a sour mood sweet.

Once we are all sleeping more and in more of a routine I plan on getting up early to go for a walk. I have big plans that include getting fit and healthy by June so that will be included into the happiness list. Once I am fitter and healthier I suspect my moods will be lighter, happier. Since the mister started exercising his moods have improved immensely. I can't wait but until then I'll continue to do my daily happy list.

Do you know your happy?

Simplify Your Life Week Seven #syl12

I'm finally catching up on the Simplify Your Life challenge. This week is week seven! This year has already gone by so quickly.

I must say I really enjoyed this week's challenge; creating a vision board. I had a few magazines that I wanted to cull anyway so I cut them up before recycling them. I love Pinterest but there's nothing quite like cutting and glueing. It reminds me of school in a good way.

I started cutting pictures out without really focusing on what I was supposed to be envisioning. I did continue cutting out whatever I wanted using my instinct more than anything. I also just glued everything wherever I felt like it, no method to my madness! It worked out pretty well I think.

I did have to leave a lot out as they either didn't fit with my vision or on the actual board. Love, family, house, garden, exercise and healthy food are the main focus. I also added some red lips with lovely white teeth as I'd love to have lovely teeth again and the confidence to wear red lips. It symbolises confidence and saying goodbye to anxiety.

Just like my goals I've made an effort to start small. I don't want my vision board to be too over the top. I've made sure it's still ambitious with holidays, a lovely girly room and beautiful gardens.

I'm putting my vision board in the kitchen or above the TV to remind me to stay positive and focused. They are the main places I think I would notice it. Actually I'd probably notice it most in the bathroom but I think it'd get ruined quickly due to the moisture, so it's not going in there!

This vision board was so easy to do that I don't mind making bigger ones or one with the mister's input as well. Maybe the whole house can be covered with vision boards!

Bad quality photos: had to rush using the mister's phone

Have you got a vision board?

Simplify Your Life Week Six #syl12

Although I've been enjoying these Simplify Your Life exercises and challenge I've been slack lately. I hate to blame so much on being sick (it's getting old) but the lack of motivation to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard has been the main reason I've been slack. Lately I've been filling my brain with sleep and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Anything mindless.

Image

Now I'm feeling better and ready to make goals for myself and my family. Working with the values I used with the Wheel of Life, I chose goals for each value. It makes sense as I need to work on each one so I can personally be happier and to benefit my family.

Goal: Clean and organise daily, even just ten minutes a day.

Plan: Make cleaning or organising fun by playing music, singing songs or making a game of it. Get the whole family involved in different activities. Start with the little things; one thing per room a day (e.g.. shower one day, toilet the next).

Goal: Spend more time as a family actually doing stuff, not just sitting around doing nothing.

Plan: Every day we are all home together we should all be going out at least once to the park, pool or beach even if just for thirty minutes.

Goal: Be mindful daily.

Plan: Take time out to reconnect with what is going on during the day. Begin at each meal time and go from there. Sit down and talk to lufflump about what has happened so far that day and what he wants to do for the rest of the day.

Goal: Eat well and exercise daily, even just for ten minutes a day.

Plan: Have proper meals, three times daily, with healthier options like nuts, fruits, veggies and dip. I've asked for skates for my birthday present so I can prepare to enter Roller Derby.

Goal: Spend more time reconnecting with and visiting friends.

Plan: Do lunch, visit friends or have play dates at least once a fortnight.

Goal: Delve further into Buddhism.

Plan: Go to more Buddhist events around Brisbane, have sesame and lufflump blessed and read more books about Buddhism.

Goal: Budget, be firm, consistent and stick to it.

Plan: Work with the mister to form a new budget and stick to it especially with groceries. Maybe meal plan as well to keep down costs.

Goal: Build a small veggie garden.

Plan: Start little and do it with lufflump and the mister, as a family activity.

As you can see I'm not making ambitious goals just yet, simply because with a newborn coming I'm sure even these small goals will be difficult to achieve. Looking at them though I'm excited and think that if even half are achieved then our lives will be easier and more enjoyable.

Simplify Your Life Week Four #syl12

This week it's all about assessing your life and values balance. So how you are balancing your values, what needs working on and what needs to stay consistent. Deb included the Wheel of Life exercise which was a great way to see just how your values are being achieved or not.

I didn't really think that what I was choosing were my core values or in our family mission statement but it appears they are.

Using the above values I created my Wheel of Life;

Had to take a photo as I don't have Word on my laptop

As you can see from the above photo Personal Development, Friends, Spirituality and Environment aren't faring as well as I would like it to.

To me personal development is growing, learning and enhancing as a person. I believe that I have grown but I still need to learn from experiences and I have a lot of enhancing to do to become the person I would like to be. To do that I feel I need to be mindful daily and sit back when situations get tough, think about why and what I can do and learn from it. 

I love my friends, they are amazing and I hate that I don't see them as often as I used to or should. I'm a social person and I've let anxiety stop me from being my social self. It sucks, I want to change it but at the moment I'm struggling just keeping up with the housework let alone getting out and being social. That doesn't mean I don't love my friends or appreciate them, I do.

This is on par with personal development to me. To grow and be mindful I feel I need to also enhance my spirituality in the form of Buddhism. What appeals to me most about Buddhism is the emphasis on self enhancement and growth rather than a God being. You can be the higher power but until then look to those who have reached or are reaching their enlightenment - that's what I want for myself and family.

I like the environment and I think it's important to nourish it for our future generations. Having kids has definitely emphasised this need. Unfortunately I've been lazy with helping the environment. Sure we recycle, reuse and are careful with our electricity use but I'd love to also have a vegetable/fruit garden, turn off stand-by items and stop using the dryer so often.

Image

I'm more satisfied with the following, but only just;

We have done a lot of work culling, organising and sorting our home. It's nowhere near where I would like it to be. In fact we need to spend a couple of days just cleaning the whole place (this week). The mister is also feeling a bit cramped by the minimal space we have and is over living so close to our shitty neighbours. We are actually on the look out (again this week) for a house to rent further from the city but still close enough that he can ride to his workplaces and I can easily catch public transport.

How I wish this was higher! The mister and lufflump's health is quite good at the moment. The mister is getting fitter everyday from riding to and from work plus eating well. Lufflump hasn't been badly sick in a while, thank goodness. My health, however, is a different story. I have low blood pressure, low iron and thanks to being pregnant suffering from lack of sleep. I'm sure the former two are impacting on my energy levels to the point where I'm always tired and while I'm trying to get their levels back up I'm not sure it's being successful. Mentally, the mister and I are both struggling from lack of sleep making us edgy at times. Other than that my anxiety is the lowest it's been in a LONG time which I'm loving.

Image

I'm not 100% satisfied with any of my values and I think it would be scary to say so. I don't believe that 100% is a number I'll ever be with my values as self, relationships, love and life changes which would influence the change in values. However, I am almost satisfied with the following;

I love my family, they make me want to be a better person. I believe that working on my personal development, spirituality and health & wellbeing will benefit my family immensely which is what they deserve. Lufflump deserves a good, happy family life that will enrich his self. So does sesame, the mister and myself.

The mister will most likely disagree with me on the level I put finances on. To me we aren't struggling financially. Sure there are a lot of stuff (note STUFF) we can't afford but we are extremely fortunate in the choices our financial stability and level allow us to have. We are able to live comfortably and we don't go without quite often. We have luxuries others didn't have, our children have luxuries our parents weren't able to afford. I am able to stay at home, lufflump is able to attend the daycare we have chosen for him (not the cheapest) and our bills are always paid on time. Very fortunate.

Image

This exercise has opened my eyes somewhat. I already knew what I felt I need to work on but looking at it like this, I'm also more grateful to what we do have and what I have achieved. That's the first step isn't it; identifying what needs change?

Simplify Your Life Week Three #syl12

The last time I wrote a mission statement was back in 2006 when I was studying my diploma. I hated it then as much as I do now, however important I know it is. For the Simplify Your Life challenge this week the mister and I sat down and discussed what our mission statement/s for our family would be. Sort of. He watched a movie with lufflump while I rattled off a series of questions. Most of the time I only got a reaction after I started answering them myself. Still, I got some good answers out of him, enough for a mission statement or a few.

Daily Dinosaur Attack

We identified our family values quite easily and with input from both of us. Our family values family, happiness, laughter, acceptance, loyalty and supporting each other.

Again, identifying what we want from and in relationships with each other, family, friends, neighbours and our communities was quite easy as we both have similar values and desires. We would like caring, open-minded, happy, fair and honest relationships throughout our lives for our family.

The mister and I believe that we (try to) treat each other and other people as we ant or expect to be treated. We also have fun and speak, react and treat others with a sense of humour. The mister and I are always joking around, mock fighting and laughing together. We have fun.

Sydney 2010

I'm sure the mister and I had had a rough night sleeping based on the next few answers. We'd like to change the sleeping arrangements we currently have. Ideally we'd like lufflump sleeping in his own bed and us in ours. Also, I'll add that I'd like to not have my/our sleep interrupted by weird dreams or the constant need to pee. As a family we all work better when we sleep well and worst when we don't. Sleep deprivation usually means the cranky pants are put on at least for part of the day, tempers are short and we're all easily irritating and irritated.

That's as far as we got question wise but a general picture is formed. With what we came up with as a family, I sat down and wrote the following mission statements.

I'm happy with our mission statements (no surprise really as I wrote them). They really do represent our family. I plan on sitting down with the mister soon and going through it all again. After revising them I plan on printing them out to put on our fridge. 

This challenge has been easy and hard at the same time in different areas. I think if the mister and I had sat down and put more effort into it it would have been easier. It has resonated the fact that the mister and I have similar values, goals and desires for ourselves and our family. 

Image