For week nine's challenge Deb is asking that we go easier on ourselves. I know I'm a few weeks behind but this challenge is perfect for me right now. Maybe there is a reason I'm behind so much.
Sesame is mainly being formula fed with only one or two breast milk feeds a day.
I'm beating myself up for it. Big time. That requires a whole post though. I know what's important and that is my baby being fed BUT I am struggling to let it go.
I know why I persevered in expressing for lufflump; prevent allergies and asthma while giving his immunity a boost. I have so many worries for sesame. Will she have bad allergies, will she get asthma and will she be sick more often because I didn't exclusively breastfeed for at least six months?
All these worries eat away at me. The guilt and disappointment invades my dreams.
I need to go easier on myself.
Sesame may get allergies, asthma and have bad immunity regardless of whether she is formula or breast fed. Formula is so good these days too. She drinks more than I ever imagined (200ml breast milk or 120ml formula each feed) and is much more content on formula (not crying for 15 - 45mins each feed).
She is happy, thriving, drinking and that's what is important.
The mister is ok with how she's being fed, in fact he is beyond happy she's not crying almost hourly. I am too. I have to grieve and let go. Breastfeeding is harder than hard. She's still getting breast milk and she's still being fed, comp feeding is not wrong. Formula is not wrong or bad, it's not ideal but it's not the end of the world.
I have not failed my daughter. I am doing what is best for her right now.