|Sesame just born|
Sesame started off so well, latching on wonderfully from day one. Then I got mastitis which hurt like a bitch but thanks to medication and many hot showers it quickly disappeared. One day and night she went five hours between feeds which was bliss. One night she latched on wonderfully and didn't cry all night. Lately she's not latching properly, cries for ages and drinks more than what I have.
From 12am to 5am little sesame would feed every two hours for about an hour. Throw in crying for fifteen minutes each time and that's how little I slept (the boys were banished to lufflump's room and the fire engine bed). The poor mister works from 5pm to 11pm or 12am which meant he was beyond exhausted.
This went on for a few days before we were all at each other's throats and formula was discussed. One bottle of formula and it was amazing how better we all felt from a full five hours stretch of sleep. Love was back in the house.
My plan when will I learn that children and plans don't mix? was to give her one bottle a night so she is full and sleep through the night. That was until one afternoon she cried for forty-five minutes, didn't burp or fart, wouldn't latch or anything but scream. The mister gave her a bottle and she took to it happily drinking the whole bottle.
For something so natural how the hell can a bottle be better than the real thing? How can she latch so well to a bottle/teat and not a nipple?
I feel guilty. I hate it but after expressing for so long for lufflump and not for sesame, I can't help it. I'm trying not to feel guilty. I know I wouldn't be able to express full time for sesame as I don't have the luxury of time I had with lufflump. I am expressing one or two times a day (120mls each time) but she downs that so quickly and still needs formula straight afterwards. I can't keep up. Now I'm also bleeding each time I express which never happened with lufflump. I'm over the pain.
I see her crying, frustrated, desperate face grasping for a feed and I see her contented, happy, sleeping face after a satisfying feed. The first while breastfeeding and the second after a bottle. I know what I prefer; my happy baby, my happy family.
Have your breastfeeding journeys be successful?