Sesame is here! A lovely bunch of bloggers have jumped in to help me out at this time so I don't have to worry about a newborn, a toddler AND blogging. Today, Amy from New Adventures In Dreamworld is sharing her worries about how her son, Flynn, will go with being a big brother.
I have, a week or two ago, passed the first trimester mark with my 2nd pregnancy. 12 weeks down - possibly 28 weeks to go! And in that maybe 28 weeks (my first child was 2 weeks earlier than expected, so who knows?) there are 2 very important things i need to work out:
#1 - how to prepare my son for a new baby and
#2 - how to cope when he decides that he wants to send that new baby back.
Don't get me wrong - my Flynn is a good kid. He's sweet and mostly gentle (except when he's "doing wrestles" with Daddy or Poppy) and he loves babies. He might only be 2 years old himself, but he squats down next to babies and puts on a goo-goo voice to talk to them, he pulls funny faces and does silly dances to make them laugh. He's a very gentle hugger and he knows that if you're going to touch a babies hair you have to do it softly, like with a puppy (really, he said that once). He really is absolutely wonderful with our friends babies, and with my little cousin... it's just that I'm pretty sure once the baby is living at his house, sleeping in his old cot, and stealing away the majority of his mums attention he might decide that little babies are the Devil. Or worse, he might turn Devil and try his darndest to get rid of his new sibling.
#1 - how to prepare my son for a new baby and
#2 - how to cope when he decides that he wants to send that new baby back.
Don't get me wrong - my Flynn is a good kid. He's sweet and mostly gentle (except when he's "doing wrestles" with Daddy or Poppy) and he loves babies. He might only be 2 years old himself, but he squats down next to babies and puts on a goo-goo voice to talk to them, he pulls funny faces and does silly dances to make them laugh. He's a very gentle hugger and he knows that if you're going to touch a babies hair you have to do it softly, like with a puppy (really, he said that once). He really is absolutely wonderful with our friends babies, and with my little cousin... it's just that I'm pretty sure once the baby is living at his house, sleeping in his old cot, and stealing away the majority of his mums attention he might decide that little babies are the Devil. Or worse, he might turn Devil and try his darndest to get rid of his new sibling.
Amy and baby Flynn |
Hell, I know I did. I'm the eldest in my family and my mum tells me that one afternoon when my brother was a few weeks old I stood beside the change table while she was doing his nappy and, as soon as she had her back turned, I pushed him off. Oopsy, there he goes, right off the edge. I also vividly remember, once he was old enough to toddle, pushing him in the square of the back, sending him flying onto a concrete pathway and chipping his tooth. Part of this memory involves a smack and a telling off from my Dad - it's a bit hazy as to whether my poor brother did anything to warrant a good shoving or whether I was just being a turd.
It is also well documented (almost literally) how jealous I was when my younger sister came along. I was 6 and a half by this time and, in a bid to get some attention back my way, apparently faked blurred and spotty vision. I say apparently, but I now work with the optometrist who tested my eyes back then and he actually wrote on my record card that he thought it was all in my head, and perhaps a bid for attention. Poor, poor 6 year old me...
So what am I going to do? Well, we've already started talking about babies - about how Mummy has a baby in her tummy and when the baby comes out its going to live with us. Flynn has generously told me the baby can have his bottles ("I'na big boy, i got a cup") and that he will help change the babies bottom (except if its a smelly poo - typical male...) but as yet he isn't so keen on the baby sleeping in his cot or using his bath. In a few weeks we hope to have our garage converted into a room which will become Flynn's new "big boy room" where he can have his big boy bed and all his toys, and the baby can have his old "little" room. He's already been to an ultrasound with me and I hope to be able to take him (accompanied by Grandma or, if possible, Daddy) at the 20 week scan so we can show him a picture that looks more like a baby, and maybe even tell him whether he's getting a brother or a sister. Plus, we might employ the old "here's a present from the new baby!" trick when the time comes - you know, just to foster good sibling relationships.
It is also well documented (almost literally) how jealous I was when my younger sister came along. I was 6 and a half by this time and, in a bid to get some attention back my way, apparently faked blurred and spotty vision. I say apparently, but I now work with the optometrist who tested my eyes back then and he actually wrote on my record card that he thought it was all in my head, and perhaps a bid for attention. Poor, poor 6 year old me...
So what am I going to do? Well, we've already started talking about babies - about how Mummy has a baby in her tummy and when the baby comes out its going to live with us. Flynn has generously told me the baby can have his bottles ("I'na big boy, i got a cup") and that he will help change the babies bottom (except if its a smelly poo - typical male...) but as yet he isn't so keen on the baby sleeping in his cot or using his bath. In a few weeks we hope to have our garage converted into a room which will become Flynn's new "big boy room" where he can have his big boy bed and all his toys, and the baby can have his old "little" room. He's already been to an ultrasound with me and I hope to be able to take him (accompanied by Grandma or, if possible, Daddy) at the 20 week scan so we can show him a picture that looks more like a baby, and maybe even tell him whether he's getting a brother or a sister. Plus, we might employ the old "here's a present from the new baby!" trick when the time comes - you know, just to foster good sibling relationships.
Amy and Flynn late last year at Amy's wedding! |
I mean, besides all that, what else can I do except cross my fingers and hope for the best?
Amy blogs over at New Adventures In Dreamworld. She's a newly married mum to Flynn and is currently baking a womb baby while starting a business with her hubby. She's one busy lady who still finds time to blog, be on Facebook and occasionally dabble on twitter.
The additional thing that helped us a lot with the transition before Lil S arrived a year ago were several books that Miss T eventually asked us to read to her regularly before her baby sister was born. Have you any books? Our favourites here were "We Have A Baby" by Cathryn Falwell, "There's a House Inside My Mummy" by Giles Andreae and "I'm a Big Sister" by Joanna Cole.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for guest posting Amy. I can't wait to continue on your exciting new adventure and journey!
ReplyDelete