Wednesday, May 18, 2011


One day I hope to get married.

I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a partner of the opposite sex who loves me and treats me like an equal, together we are a team. Legally we can marry.

If my partner was of the same sex and treated me like an equal, together a team, in Australia we would not be able to legally bind our relationship by marriage. No matter how in love we were.

However, if my partner of the opposite sex abused me regularly and/or raped me, demoralising not only me but also our relationship, if I was too afraid to speak out (most likely), we would legally be able to bind our relationship by marriage. No matter how in love we weren't.

An arranged marriage is also legal in Australia, as long as both parties are of legal age, state of mind and agree to be married. Unless the couple are the same sex.

Mind you the Australian Taxation Department and Centrelink recognise same sex relationships. So while you cannot legally call your same sex partner your husband or wife the government can tax you and cut your welfare payments.

How can the Australian government justify this? To be perfectly honest, I'm not in the mood to read a whole lot of so called justification of such a hypocritical matter. So while the average person are told repeatedly by our government that you can't have your cake and eat it too, they are eating their cake, your cake and my cake. Repeatedly.

While typing this post out I received an email from a Labor Senator for Queensland, Doug Stewart, who sent me the following regarding marriage equality;

“ Thank you for your email.

The ALP policy does not support same sex marriage. This is not my personal position, and I continue to work with in the party for amendment, however I will support the party position in any vote.

I believe that marriage is a commitment between two people who make that choice together; the quality of the marriage relies on the personal commitment and determination of the people involved”


So these people are in a position of power but don't believe their party's policies. How? 

When is it time to stand up and speak out about inequality? What will it take? Obviously not an 'atheist' Prime Minister who according to the church lives in sin for living with her de facto boyfriend. She has stated that it's not about religion but about 'conservative upbringing'. So in other words being homosexual is immoral. 


Don't even look at the opposition. Tony Abbott still believes women belong in the house ironing, washing and baking. I wasn't born in the 1950's but if equality is so frowned upon in 2011 I'm going to assume that it was more frowned upon in the 1950's. Maybe Mr Abbott needs a time machine to go back to the era he so obviously craves and belongs.


We can look at The Greens and their gay marriage policy but unfortunately they need the backing of the Labor party who as we see above don't believe in equality.


So what can we do?

We can speak out. Just like I am here. 
Use your blog, your Twitter, your Facebook, your LinkedIn, your mobile and your emails to send the message that inequality is NOT fair.

Go onto the Australian Marriage Equality website and join in a workshopemail your local MPmeet your local MP, or/and see how else you can take action.

Go onto the Same Same website and see what's on in your city, or join in on the forum.

If you are a mum who believes in equality sign the Mums For Equality letter to MPs.

See what Chris Tanti, the CEO of headspace says about marriage equality.

Attend rallies. Check out Equal Love regularly to find out rallies in your city.

What I'm trying to say is don't be quiet about this. Everyone, individually, deserves the joy of choosing whether to marry or not, it should be none of the government's business.


  1. Brava to you for this post Ames. Well bloody said.

  2. aww. you're doing psych or something at uni aren't you? you could take it so far with this subject!

    it's probably a well know fact and disappointing to my dads parents that i personally don't believe in marriage in todays society at all, it seems to have become a security net, that's too expensive to get out of 5 years down the track. there are those people who do it for right and strong reasons. but i don't see why i need to sign a piece of paper for someone to love me forever. if they're going to love me forever they will. the paper doesn't prevent them from harm, cheating or growing apart. and the ring is a symbol that can be taken off. ink has more commitment! on that same note if rhys was being deported or dying and asked me to for the legal reasons i'd do it without hesitation.

    on the other side of that i do have a few gay friends and the whole inequality subject frustrates me. what right do i have to make the oldest commitment tradition that's older than the country itself, when they can't? we both treat our partners with love, respect and equality within our own relationships, the only difference between us is down to simple attraction - like any individual. why does the government even give a shit!? they've come (sort of..) so far with black v white. this just seems so petty! i honestly think if there was a referendum on it the government would be voted out!

    anyway that's my rant! i'm sure there's more to come :)

  3. The reason people are against this is because they believe that God gave us marriage as a gift between a man and a woman and this is why they dont want to change it. And our whole community and way of life has been built on these morals..... The way i see it two men cant have a baby two women cant have a baby and until they can i think you should leave marriage alone....

  4. Thanks Amy xxx

    Kylie - I agree, I think people should have the right to choose to or not to marry.

    Anon - What about married couples who marry yet choose not to have children? Should they not be able to marry either? The breading issue is silly.

    As for the God issue; marriages are not about God or religion anymore. They are about love. If people can choose to marry outside of a church then leave God and religion out of it.

    It's all about choice. People are being denied a choice and that isn't fair.

  5. I must thank you for your comment as well Anon. It's nice when people opposing an issue can do so without aggravation. I appreciate it.

  6. really?
    how is marriage a gift from god? the christian/catholic god? so for those of us that might be buddist, agnostic or even atheist, do we still have the right to marry? or do we fall in the homosexuality category being denied your god's gifts? what if two hermaphrodites want to marry? oh my, will your god end the world? i've been to church sure. god creates everyone equal, yes? god has a plan for everyone right? then why are some of us created with the sexuality chemical imbalance? while i believe it is 100% your choice who you are in a relationship with, i also believe it's 100% out of your control who you fall in love with. attraction in the mind is just as chemically ingrained into you your body as much as liking apples and oranges or hating brussel sprouts. marriage is a right to legally bind two people together in the eyes of the law — functioning among different religions, cultures and individuals. what organ in their body reproduces life should be completely irrelevant to that and you.

  7. Well if "Love" is the prerequisite for marriage in your opinion. Then you open the door for anyone to get married like father daughter, sister brother, sister sister, mother son etc.

    Also to say that you have no choice of who you love is obsurd. So couples that have arranged marriages dont love each other? They also have better statistics to say that their marriage doesnt end in divorce.

  8. completley agree with you. I wrote a post about my feelings on the matter

    Regarding the "marriage is a religious thing" issue. No. it isn't. If you want God in your marriage then have God in your marriage. God has nothing to do with my marriage. your marriage has nothing to do with my marriage. My marriage without God involved doesn't make your marriage any lesser and neither should anyones marriage have any effect on the sanctity of anyone else's marriage. Isn't LOVE a gift from God? and Tolerance?

  9. clearly i said who you love is 100% out of your control.
    love is the noun given to the feeling formed by intense chemical reaction of attraction. you actually can't help what you're drawn to, it's in your genetics.

    i also said who you choose to be in a relationship with is 100% your choice. it's up to you who you associate with in your life. i love my boyfriend but if i felt like he was having a bad influence on me, i'd have make the choice to leave him. that said, he's my best friend and i have the right to associate my feelings, love him and keep him in my life. and no one could ever justify me of not doing that.

    when did i ever speak against arranged marriages? i believe you should marry for your own personal reasons, whether you feel right by yourself, your partner, god, family or culture, marriage is simply as a society down to legalities. and again who someone chooses to bind themselves with by law and paper, be it siblings, family, or two ordinary humans with the same set of organs — how, why or even if they do it should have nothing to do with you.

    honestly it's such a petty topic to even exist. aside from a few classless idiots, i was born into a world where the colour of my skin is called complexion. everyday i wake up in love and do my best to deserve love in return. one day i hope to die in a world where i don't ever have to tell my kids, brother, sister or friend that it's okay to be gay or somehow different. i hope they're born feeling it.


Just like everyone else I LOVE comments and they make me SMILE. I'll reply as soon as I can, but please know that I appreciate and read EVERY single comment. Thanks xxx


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