Friday, May 20, 2011

Rapture says Rawr?

I don't know about you but when I hear the word rapture I think of something evil, unhappy and mean with big teeth. I don't think of Jesus. Isn't he supposed to be nice and love us all?

Back in 1992 I was ready for the rapture to come and deliver us from the hell that would become this world. I was young enough to probably be sent to heaven. My family, however, would have had to suffer the horrible fate we are all supposedly set to suffer on October 21st this year.

The 1992 so called rapture must have been the false rapture created by our evil, corrupt governments.

My question to believers of the rapture is this; what will heaven be like knowing your friends, pets and possibly family are on earth suffering unspeakable pain? I don't think I could leave behind loved ones and live happily for eternity knowing I did so. Then again I am not a male wanting ten virgins.

Apparently the rest of the human race (us) won't have any prior warning. Umm.. am I not writing about the rapture right now? Internet fails.

Apparently we are all slaves to God. Wow, this God isn't seeming very nice. Here I was thinking he was a wonderful higher being there for us, loving us and granting us a wonderful eternity for loving him. Apparently not. Imagine just how bad Satan must be.

I thought God fairly treated and forgave all humans for their sins. That sounds like a lovely God that I would like to believe in. A God who would believe in me.

Don't fret though my friends and myself are here to look after your pets and your lovely mansions when you are taken away to the new Heaven to breed worthy humans.


  1. The Rapture seems like a good thing. It's taking away all the boring people and leaving all the fun people behind to have one big kickass party until the world ends.

    I'm down with that!

  2. I like your God too! Looking forward to hanging out with you til October, Ames!

  3. Devout, pious, extreme Christians.... freakin' weirdos!

  4. I hope I make it through this round.
    I have plans tomorrow night, so if Im spared that'd be rad.

  5. What would be the point in 10 virgins? - Now 10 prostitutes would be useful...

    or 10 barmaids - or 10 pizza waitresses - or 10 nearly naked policewomen (they can keep their hat on) ( really though, can you get those?)

    All of those things would be worth popping your cloggs for - but virgins? What would be the point?

  6. Teeheehee I am lovely :) I don't get the obsession with virgins - they're generally not very good in bed.

  7. Wow wasn't the rapture one big let down!

    I don't get the ten virgins either, I thought it was a male thing. It does specify these virgins are ready and waiting for the men at their bed.

    You are very lovely Glowy :)


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